I am new to Mortifer’s required physical lifestyle. E and I spent the last year aligning with the (a)moral, ethical and spiritual guidelines required to be an active members of the coven that is the hidden face of Mortifer.
After the ritual performed on the Good Friday of this year, and the many changes of these last three months, I gradually reevaluated certain ideas in which I strongly believed in.
For years I supported the idea that train the mind, study and practice magic in a serious and dedicated way, was enough to be a good magician.
After my last experiences, after my visit in a very special cave [maybe we’ll talk better about this is a future blog post], I realised that those who want to walk on an extreme pathway, as anticosmic currents are for sure, need a well trained body too.
The descent in a cave where darkness reigns, where light (both natural and artificial) does not filter, stand in front of very primordial energies, puts you in the condition of having to bear the impact of physical and spiritual disgregation. These two sides of the same coin are not separated, but very entwined.
These last major ritual performed by the coven and E (with which I work the most) put myself in front of new proofs, both mental and physical, and the desire to temper myself more and more.
Not the desire to temper exclusively my mind and spirit, but also my body, testing myself every day.
In these days I’m paying the consequences of my descent in the cave. My knee hurts a lot: I’ll buy a new tutor. My back hurts: I’ll work to strengthen it. No price is too higher for the emotion that runs in my veins since days, the energies moved during that ritual and their consequences in my everyday life.
People may tattoo on their faces all the names and attributes they want, trying to desecrate them, reducing savage and primordial energies to fashionable parlor toys or scissors with rounded tips. Claim to be this or that does not allow you to be part of any heritage, because being part of an heritage goes far beyond any name. Claim does not elevate you at the level of the very exceptional men and women to whom you look at with envy.
Names, titles, attributes don’t mean membership. Maybe they qualify you in the society, but not at the eyes of the Spirits: they see far beyond your bullshit.
Names, titles, attributes don’t make you instantaneously able to bend to you the Powers you desperately gasping to nor to manifest them, and they won’t accept you or manifest to you, if you won’t be worthy according to their standards.
This world will always be divided between monsters and normal people, and nobody can make a normal people from a monster.
If you’re a clay man, you’ll be a clay man forever, but monster will always be there to hunt you.